Senin, 26 Mei 2014


I'll be leaving for Japan in September. Oh gosh, I'm so scared but so excited at the same time. Finally...

New chapter. 
New place. 
New air. 
New friends. 
New surroundings. 
A fresh start.

Can't wait :) Things have been rough, especially lately. I just want to leave it all behind and start all over again.

Senin, 05 Agustus 2013


You deserve someone who listens to you
Hears every word and knows what to do
When you’re feeling hopeless lost and confused
There’s somebody out there who will 

You need a man who holds you for hours
Make your friends jealous
When he brings you flowers
And laughs when he says they don’t have love like ours
There somebody out there who will

There’s somebody out there who’s looking for you
Someday he’ll find you, I swear that its true
He’s gonna kiss you and you’ll feel the world standstill
There’s somebody out there who will

He’ll take you dancing and pull you in close
Spin you around and won’t let you go
Till they turn the lights off and he’ll take you home
There’s somebody out there who will

There’s somebody out there who’s looking for you
Someday he’ll find you I swear that its true
He’s gonna kiss you and you’ll feel the world standstill
There’s somebody out there who will

Tossing and turning and dreaming at night
About finding him and praying and hoping you might
‘Cause you deserve someone who knows how to treat you right

I know he’s out there 
He’s looking for you
Someday he’ll find you I swear that it’s true
And he’s gonna kiss you and you’ll feel the world standstill

You need some who’ll miss you
Hold you and kiss you
There’s somebody out there who will

Somebody Out There - A Rocket To The Moon


Jumat, 02 Agustus 2013

The truth is, I'm scared.

Doesn't everyone? This world is one hell of a scary place. I feel like I can't keep up with how fast my life is going right now. Believe it or not, it's already the last year of high school for me. Everything is about to change in a blink of an eye. I know, I'm still so young, but I can't help but think that I have to be mature soon. I'm a teenager, for crying out loud. Half of me is still a kid, and the other half is a forced adult waiting to be cracked.

I'm scared of a lot of things. I'm not ready to grow up. I'm not ready to go off to college and live alone. I'm not ready to leave home and my family. I'm a total wimp at heart, I know, but just the thought of the future really scares me. My mom and dad keep on talking me into going to this great school in Japan called the Asia Pacific University. Some of you may know it, it's an amaaaazing school. Not kidding, I've been there, and I kind of liked it. But it's definitely out of my comfort zone. Jakarta is my comfort zone. I don't know if I'm ready to break out of that. And the worst part is, I only have less than a year to figure that out. To figure everything out. To find out who I really am, what I want, what I need to do to get there. It's just too much. The pressure, the process, the breakdowns. I can't take it.

Maybe it's because I've spent my life being safe. I never do anything challenging. I always seek for the safe spot, where I feel okay. I guess it's human to feel that way, but it makes me weak. I have no one else to blame on that one but myself. I know, I know, I shouldn't over-think about it and just do it. But then again, that's the thing! What if I can't do it? What if I break down in the middle of it? What if I won't get anything out of it? All the 'what if's are killing me.

I keep thinking how this time next year, I'll be in a completely different place as I am right now. Maybe I'll be in Japan, maybe I'll join my sister in Canada, maybe I'll get accepted to the University of Indonesia and end up staying home instead, maybe I'll be surrounded by a completely different groups of people, or even the same, I don't know. Endless maybe(s).

This post is so random, yeah. And I don't know how to end it. I feel pressured to end it positively, but nope, I got nothing. I just need to let it all out. I don't know who to tell this to, and assuming nobody reads my lame page anyway, I'm actually just talking to myself. But whatever, at least it's a release for me.
Cheers! Xo.

Senin, 17 Juni 2013

First Attempt On Contact Lenses

I'm sick as hell of always having to wear a dorky ass glasses ever since as long as I can remember. So I decided to wear contact lenses.

This is how I normally look with my glasses on.

This is how I look with contact lenses.

Soooo what'cha think? Which one suits me best? Feel free to comment.
Cheers! Xo.

Minggu, 09 Juni 2013


Numpang galau..........

He did hurt me, but to be honest, I could never be mad at him. 
Why is that?

Yes. Please.

What do you say? Too impossible?

Forcing laughter, faking smiles. I'm getting the hang of it.

100% true. Keeping this in mind.

Him <3

And I hope you meant it when you said all those stuff that only you and I know of.

Why? </3</3</3

Nothing is sadder.

It's bittersweet.


I still remember the feeling <3

I have abandonment issue, and you're making it worse.

I'm so stupid.


He chose "or", or.........? Whatever.

Please stop hurting me and just love me back. PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU LOL.

THIS!!!!!!!!!!! </3

It all started the same. "So there's this guy.......", whilst butterflies flying in one's stomach as one tell their tale. And ended up with "He broke my heart. I'm so stupid." Ugh, I should've known better. Like seriously, what the fuck is wrong with me? I was a freaking cynical and love-sucks-whatever-lol-bye kind of gal, he changed that. But hey, I'm only human and I'm entitled to my feelings, and people make mistakes. Can't think of a single thing I learned from this now, but I'm pretty sure this will all be nothing but a joke to me someday. And I can't wait for that 'someday'.